Monday, February 28, 2011


This story always reminds me of how strong and capable the human spirit is!

Monday, February 21, 2011

Thoughts on the brain

*Another Stage 4 melanoma patient once told me that he feels like he's just "buying time", waiting for the "inevitable" to happen (death). That depressed me. I will never think that way!
*I know I'm getting better because I feel stronger.
*I really don't like it when people tell me they know someone that had melanoma and died. I know they're just finding a way to relate, but filter your thoughts people!
*My kids are what keep me going everyday. When I am focused on them, and not me, I do better.
*Even though I try to be optimistic most of the time, I do have days where I wonder what my fate is or if the Lord's will is different than mine. That is the conflict that I sometimes struggle with. We just don't know.
*Waiting 3 months between scans is nerve-wracking.
*I will never surrender to this disease. I am way too competitive to let it win. One of the human's strongest instincts is the will to live.
*Sometimes I feel like everyone around me is moving forward with life, but I'm in this "stall pattern" right now. Out of the loop, in my own bubble that nobody can relate with, and doing the same thing over and over again.
*I'm so grateful for a doctor that knows what he's doing and cares about me. I'm really learning to trust him.
*Knowing that we will have major medical expenses for the next 10 years+ is a huge stress.
*The possiblity of not being here to see my kids grow up is the most painful thought imaginable for me.
*My family and friends are incredible. I don't know how I would get through this without them.
*I wish I had more time in life for yoga, I need it. I just can't find a good place locally.
*I don't have any regrets in my life. Every mistake I've made, every challenge or trial I've had has taught me so much about gratitude, humility, the Lord's plan for me, and life in general.
*Someday I will start a charity/foundation that will help patients access the BEST physicians and options for late-Stage melanoma. I also want it to promote awareness, since melanoma is almost entirely preventable.
*I really try to live as normal as I can under the circumstances that I'm faced with, but it's hard when you look around at your family and friends, who don't have to worry about a life-threatening illness right now. I realize my life is anything but normal.
*I would love to start a LIVESTRONG event in Boise someday.
*There are times that I am overwhelmed with trying to "do it all" to make myself as healthy as possible. I know I do better than probably 90% of the population, but I always feel there is more that I can do.
*I really want to get back on my bike and race again. Someday. First things first, I gotta get through treatment and cancer free!
*My husband is my rock. He is my ying-yang too. Where I'm weak, he is strong. He just has such a good perspective about everything. Gosh I love him!
*I feel like this challenge in my life is for a greater purpose, but I'm not sure what that is yet.

This is me just being real, showing the good and the bad and you know what? It felt better to get some things off of my chest! :)

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Heart of Idaho award

A friend of a friend of mine nominated me a few months back to win the "Heart of Idaho" award at the Mrs. Idaho America pageant Sat. night. It is awarded to someone that inspires all through Faith, Courage, and Love. Well, as luck would have it, they chose me to be the recipient of this year's award. They gave me 4 VIP seats, so I dragged 3 friends with me to watch the show. We had a good time!

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Isaiah 41:10

"Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness."

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Green smoothies

In addition to juicing, I have started to make "green smoothies" everyday as a meal replacement for either breakfast or lunch. I use 2 or 3 whole, fresh fruits (mostly bananas, oranges, pears, apples, blueberries), then I add 2 large handfuls of leafy greens (like spinach, romaine, swiss chard) and lastly, I add 1 cup of frozen fruit (such as strawberries, mangoes, pineapple, peaches) and blend it up. Oh, and I add a scoop of protein powder and a cup of water too! So delicious and nutritious and very filling!!!